Nobody Else Can Make You Happy

     In high school, especially, we get trapped into our mind set that having a boyfriend or girlfriend will make us happy. One of the most fundamental lessons that school cannot teach us is that no thing and no one can make you happier than you can make yourself.
    Our happiness is our responsibility. We know what it takes for us to be balanced. Sure a boyfriend or girlfriend can make us happy while we are with them, but what about when we aren't? You have to do what it is that makes you happy all of the time whether that be music, sports, reading, dancing, writing or anything else. I know all to well that life is too short to not do what you love. If laughter is the best medicine, then happiness is a cure all.
     Don't depend your happiness on other people or things. Only you know what can get you smiling and feeling your best. While things and people can enhance these feelings, you have to a have a firm foundation for them to rest upon.

     As the first quote states,  you have to celebrate everything that your life is right now. There is not enough time in a day to spend worrying about what you think your life should or could be. You have to make the best of everything you have. Don't cheap yourself out of a world of joy and excitement. Make your life worth it. There is no such thing as too much happiness!

The Worst Word In Any Language Is "I"

     It is one thing to have self-confidence and be self-sufficient, but it is another thing to be self-absorbed. Everything is not about you. Now we all know that one person who consistently talks about themselves and after a while doesn't it make you not want to talk to them? There is nothing more monotonous than hearing someone talk about themselves. Don't be that person.
     You don't have to announce your self-confidence to the world. Simply by being yourself, the world will know that you are confident. When you are continuously absorbed in yourself, it actually makes people wonder if maybe your over confidence in yourself is a cover up for your insecurities. When you embrace yourself you will radiate. However, embracing yourself doesn't mean you need to brag about yourself of have a large ego or be too proud.
    Being involved in both band and choir I have been taught to let go of myself to better the group. One of the most important aspects of being in a musical group or sports team, or any other group for that matter, is being one with your teammates. If even one person outwardly rates themselves above someone else, the group cannot function effectively or reach its truest potential. When you bring yourself into something where it doesn't belong, you change the dynamic and not in a positive way.

     So many activities, teach you to be a part of a team but don't always teach you to release your self and become one. In school, when you are a part of a group for a project, there is no need for you to hype yourself up because you are getting the same score as all the members of your group. It is hard to respect someone who can't care about anything more than themselves. Be the person who thinks of others first. As Hans F. Hansen said, "People that know they are important, think about others. People that think they are important think about themselves."

It's Okay To FAIL!

     Despite what we are taught in school, it is perfectly okay to fail. In fact, everyone fails eventually. It is better to accept that now and prepare yourself for when you do fail. Failure is the greatest life teacher.
     In school, the goal is to learn the material set before us and be able to pass a test to prove that we understand it. However, there is no room for failure in this system. I'm not saying that failure should be accepted, but rather that it be viewed as a step towards success. What I mean by this is that it should be okay for students to fail at homework or practice tests because if they fail, they can learn from their mistakes and succeed in the end. In my Spanish 3 class, my teacher gave us a surprise reading quiz. I only finished three questions and she told me that she wanted me to do poorly because then when I got it perfect in the end, she will know that I really understand what I'm doing.  At first I was kind of disappointed by my score of 2.5 out of 9, but when I remembered what she said, it didn't bother me because it left a lot of room for improvement.
     Failure teaches us humility and makes us rethink our course of action. Failure should be taken as a sign that something needs to change. It should never be accepted as a result but utilized during the process. Failure is just a way of saying that you know how not to do something. As Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that don't work."

Relationships: More Impactful Than Material Goods

     Our relationships are more important than even the most expensive of material goods. This is something that people are all to commonly unaware of. Americans and people all over the world are so concerned about having the newest phone, the fastest computer and the most expensive car, because we are obsessed with things.
     With the recent passing of black Friday, I was reminded of the idea that people go crazy to get good deals on Christmas presents for their friends and family. Not to make an assumption about all those people, but they seemed to have an intense urge to get the best gift so that the recipient will, in a sense, love them. This mind set is wrong because things don't produce love, people do. Your sister or best friend will still love you no matter what you get them.  If love or appreciation is what you seek, work on building your personal relationship with the person, like spending time together, instead of depending on a material gift.
     Though your relationship with your phone or TV can bring you joy and happiness, it is no comparison to the joy and happiness of comradery and friendship. Spending even one hour laughing with friends or family will brighten your whole day, whereas an hour of TV time is only used as a way to pass time rather than using it.
     There are, however, several situations where there can be a combination of relationships and material things that can be beneficial. For example, spending time communicating with friends or family via skype or facetime. This requires a material object, but is just as rewarding as having a real face to face conversation. The same can be said about talking on the phone with your loved ones. In these cases, the end justifies the means.
       Despite the exceptions, a personal relationship is far more important and beneficial than having the newest and greatest of things.

     

TV Is Not Real Life

    While this may come as a shock to some people, TV is not real life. At our age we are generally growing out of the "I want to be a _____ when I grow up" phase. Therefore, we go into a search for a career that is practical and interesting to us. All to commonly this turns us to the TV. We watch shows like CSI, NCIS and Grey's Anatomy,  and state that we want to be a federal agent,homicide detective or a doctor. Some people watch the food channel or HGTV and decide to be a pastry chef or an interior designer. While all these professions are very legitimate, our picture of what the job is really like is distorted by the television.
     I have to admit that for a time, I wanted nothing more than to be just like Abby Schuto from NCIS. I have since grown out of this phase because I realized that not all forensic scientists live the life of luxury that Abby lives in the show. The other thing that I realized was that I need to be able to chose what I'm going to do for the rest of my life for myself, without any false influences.
     I encourage all young people who are trying to decide what they want to do with their life, to turn your heads away from the TV and look into your life and find what makes you most happy and work with it. While television is great for entertainment, most of it is not an accurate depiction of a normal life in the real world. Get your inspiration from your life and not the life of your favorite character.
     

Life Has Not Done Away With Winners and Losers

     In order to maintain student's self esteem and confidence, schools have gotten rid of competition between students. Not that there was any super blatant competitiveness before, but there is even less now. This removal of competitive spirit does not bear any resemblance to the real world AT ALL. Between companies, between bosses, between coworkers; there is competition everywhere. And there is always an incentive for coming out on top.
     In school we are commonly given as many tries as we need to get the grade we want. In the real world, you get one chance to get it right and if you don't, someone else gets the job, promotion, or lead on the project. A well known fact of nature is that only the strong survive. This applies to life as well (literally and figuratively). The better you do things, especially the first time, the better off you will be.
     Life is a constant competition, despite what schools may have you believe. Teachers usually want every student to do well, whether that take one time for top students or ten times for the lower.  Life gives everyone one chance to get it right and thus it separates the winners from the losers. The other side of this thought is that some people will do whatever it takes to come out on top. The end does not justify the means. You have to keep the bigger picture in mind- remember that while it's okay to do your best, it's better to ensure that you go the extra mile to prove yourself.
     Lastly, though being the winner is always seen as better, you should never aim to beat anyone else. Rather you should strive to be the best you can possibly be. When you achieve our truest potential, you are a winner.

Be Nice To Nerds

     Kids who are classified as nerds, are often the ones who are picked on or laughed at because they chose to study instead of go to the movies or parties. However, what people need to realize is that someday they will most likely be working under one of these so called "Nerds."
     In high school, there is a large distinction between the sporty "Jocks" and the smart "nerds." Kids just assume that the most popular kids in school will be the most successful bosses and business owners. While is some cases this is true, in many cases, either the nerdy kids become the successful professionals or they are the ones in the popular person's company that make it successful.
     Sports are commonly embodied as the most important aspect of high school. But how often do people's hard work in a sport during high school pay off? Less than 10% of high school athletes go on to play professionally. Contrary to this, most kids who focus on learning, have a 3.5 GPA and up and took challenging classes, will be first choice on college application lists and eventually make more money. I don't say this to downgrade the benefit of playing sports or the people who participate in them, but rather to demonstrate a difference between realistic scenarios.
     Being a nerd is not at all a bad thing. People make being a nerd such a bad thing when it really is a term inferring intelligence. "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one." -Bill Gates

Take Responsibility When YOU Mess Up

     How often when we mess up do we come up with someone or something else to blame? In high school, we are only provided with a small example of what the world expects of us later in life. When you mess up, it looks so much better if you just accept responsibility and learn from your mistakes.
     The first step to taking responsibility for your mistakes is by acknowledging the fact that you are not perfect, despite what you may think. It is a part of life to mess up. No one is perfect and you have to be willing to realize that this also applies to you.
    The next step is to realize that when you mess up, it is not the end of the world, so why blame it on anyone or anything else. There are some exceptions where the situation could actually be really bad, but even in these situations, it would be so much more impressive for people to see someone willing to take responsibility for themselves. Taking responsibility demonstrates a maturity that is faith renewing and refreshing to see.
     Blaming others is the easy way out, which is why so many people do it. Blame, in many ways demonstrates a persons lack of self confidence. Employers are most commonly looking for someone who displays confidence in their own abilities. Parallel to this confidence is the responsibility of the individual. If someone is truly confident in themselves, they should be completely willing to accept responsibility when they make a mistake.
     Although it is hard to always take responsibility, it is so much more rewarding in the end. It also builds character. It is easier to respect a person who holds themselves accountable for their mess ups.

Instead of complaining about messing up and blaming others, take responsibility and you will most likely learn from your mistake so that you don't make it again. 

Our Parents Know Things We Don't

     How many times in our lives, when our parents advise us not to do things, do we still do them with the mind set that they don't know what they are talking about? For me, this used to happen all the time. Something we, as teens and young adults, need to realize is that our parents have done everything we have done, and perhaps they know a bit more about life than we do. I know...it's shocking!!!
      On subjects like relationships, money, jobs and just life in general, parents always know better than we do. For example, this past summer I had my first real job. Before then I had my own money, but only what I would get for my birthday and doing odd jobs for my grandparents. After making as much money as I made this past summer I was excited at the idea of going out and buying anything I wanted. However, my parents immediately stepped in and told me that I had to save my money and budget it out so that I can make it last. They were right.
     Parents are also almost always right when it comes to relationships. Since high school is so commonly about who we are "dating" at the moment,we are so concerned with maintaining our relationships.  If you are actually considering dating someone more seriously, parents can always give you advice on how to go about considering your relationships since they have been through that themselves.
     Lastly, there are issues like teenage ignorance with driving, drinking, smoking and partying in general. My family knows the reality of the dangers of driving, but so many teens today only care about driving fast and think nothing bad will happen because they are invincible. When it comes to safe driving, listen to your parents. They always know better than we do because they have gotten tickets and have been in accidents and know what that's like.  Drinking, smoking drugs and partying are also things that we are always told are dangerous, but never understand the repercussions until after we've done it. When your parents warn you not to do them, you should really listen because commonly they have made mistakes that they don't want you to make as well.
      Just as a general rule of thumb, your parents have been alive a lot longer than you have. They have done all the things you have done and will do. When they advise against things, it's because they know what will happen. They know better than we do so listen to them.

Life's Not Fair. Get Over It.

     In the American education system we are only taught what we need to be able to graduate. Students do gain social experience through making new friends and having to communicate with teachers and coaches, but besides that and classroom learning, what has school actually taught us about going into the adult world?
     Probably one of the most important things I have learned, that I was not taught in school, is the fact that LIFE IS NOT FAIR. I constantly find myself saying, "That's not fair," but only recently have I realized that it's just the way of life. Because most people are lazy, we expect things to be handed to us. However, this is not the way the world works. Just because you may be the smartest or the most qualified person, doesn't mean you will always get what you want. The sooner we get over the fact that life is not fair, the better we will start to bounce back after experiencing one of those "unfair" moments.
    Another aspect of life being unfair, is the idea that people need to GET OVER IT. My parents and grandparents are always telling me and my siblings that complaining when something doesn't go your way won't change the outcome. However hard this may be to accept, it's true.
     Yet another realization we need to face is the fact that maybe we caused the said unfairness. As teenagers, we are commonly ignorant to the fact that when we blatantly disobey, there will be consequences. When someone breaks curfew and gets their phone taken away, they will most likely proceed to claim that their parents are being unfair, when in reality the "unfair" consequences could have been avoided . I will admit that this is a common scenario for me. I say things like that and only later do I realize how stupid it made me sound because I had no one to blame but myself. The reality of life is that we have to take what we are given, despite whether or not it is fair, and use it to better position ourselves for gain in the future.
     Lastly, for the those of us who are convinced that nothing unfair could happen to them, the time will come when they will be upset that someone got the promotion they thought they deserved or didn't get the test grade that they thought they should have received.  Life is not fair. Despite how unfair that may be, it's the way the world works. Get over it!

"The only thing that makes life unfair, is the delusion that it should be fair." -Dr. Steve Maraboli

"Greatness is measured by how well an individual responds to the happenings in life that seem totally unfair, unreasonable and undeserved." -Marvin J. Ashton